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2011 Ford Fiesta SES Review - For People Who Don't Think Big.

2011 Ford Fiesta SES

When I first starting looking for new cars, I never once considered a larger vehicle. To me, smaller was always better. Compact, lightweight, meant faster speeds and better agility. So when i started hunting for my next vehicle, I came across the Ford Fiesta. I knew I wanted a brand new spanking "never been touched on the knee" kind of car. And when I laid my eyes upon the Fiesta, an abundance of dirty thoughts crossed my mind. I wanted this car so badly I had to have it.

The Ford Fiesta is a car unlike other compacts. It features the luxury of a mid sized sedan but in a tiny midget body. I upgraded and got the SES version which includes heated leather seating, a moon roof, fancy wheels, spoiler and in all in a lime green color. Why did I choose such a bright color? The reason alone is to be able to quickly identify my vehicle in a line of black or white cars in a giant sized parking lot.

Now here is the fun part: The Fiesta is great for the average person, and by small I don't mean little people. I mean average sized person from China. Giants from European heritage or North Americans do not apply.
For them being in the Fiesta is like being in a 4x4 box with their elbows and knees tucked in or in a GO-cart.

Also for dog owners who are considering the fiesta, well lets just say if you like rat looking dogs, then this is your car. Also you shouldn't have more than two rat looking dogs because its really not ideal for this type of car. And by rat, i mean this type of dog. Okay so this one looks more like a fox. (That's not the point of the discussion btw).

I am Moki wearing a silly sweater.

Max of 2 rats per fiesta only.

For mastiff owners, do NOT even think about getting this car. Case in point, I got my vehicle prior to acquiring two giant sized mastiffs. Okay so maybe I don't have ESP and didn't predict that I would outgrow my vehicle. (Big ups to those of you who do have ESP; you can go suck on a dick now.-Did you know I was going to say that? Okay Kudos to you ASSHOLE!)

Here is what the fiesta looks like with a 100lb mastiff in the backseat. You get the drift? What I didn't tell you was that there is another mastiff in the trunk! So, don't get a fricking mastiff if you have a Fiesta! Or....alternatively don't get a fiesta if you have mastiffs!

Italian Cane Corso Mastiff in back seat, Another Italian Cane Corso in the Trunk.

Look my head takes up the entire window

Why would you put me in the backseat of this tiny car? Im huge!

This is the end of my review. There you have it. Don't buy a Ford Fiesta if you think big, or have huge things or like things that are hugey. In fact, don't buy a Ford Fiesta if you are giant. But do BUY a Ford Fiesta if you like small thingys and are tiny and like tiny stuff and enjoy being in tiny places surrounded by tiny thingys.

Cane Corso Puppy

Cane Corso Puppy - Super duper cutie pie. Reia - the super cute blue with brindle girl at 4 months.
Mastiffs are not a dog for everyone. You need to be prepared to take them on as they are pretty stubborn dogs. Reia is quite the challenge, everyday is a work in progress.

Pets are expensive but worth it.

Today's post I bring to you the latest rant about how expensive it is to have a house full of animals who never grow up and rely on your forever and ever sucking the life out of you and every penny you could possibly earn.

Proceed with caution. I have dogs and cats, obvious to those who already follow this blog. I won't define the exact number of animals I have only because I know some asswipe noisy nose maker will contact the city i live in and report my ass. Or they might just come and try to break in and steal them in my imaginary mind.

To this date, i spend a shit load of my hard earned cash buying pet food, treats, cat litter, deodorizer for those really stinky cat shits, piss pads, toys and other ridiculous stuff that amuse me like clothing and costumes and etc. Its very rare that you will spend a lot of money on vets visits and yearly vaccines. Those are regular maintenance type of stuff and usually applies to dogs. For people like me, this is not regular maintenance, this is a weekly occurrence with my guys. These guys are super problematic with their health issues and cause me millions of dollars that fly out of my bank account even before I can enjoy spending it on other nonsense like food and mortgage.

What's the point of this whole post? The point of this post is that pets may be expensive but they give you joy. I mean if don't get some sort of joy I must have a hoarding syndrome that I'm not aware of then no amount of money is worth replacing these jerks. 'The end get a pet, you will live longer. So those of you without one, you will die lonely and miserable! True story.

Minty Fresh

Brushing your own teeth is such a pain in the ass let alone brushing the teeth of your dog. So I put on my thinking cap and thought to oneself why bother brushing her teef when she can do it herself. So I slather on some chicken flavored toothpaste and lo and behold, she brushes her own teef now. Win win win

Spoiling the kids

How awesome would it be to be some crazy person's fur kid? My fur kids are so spoiled. I couldn't resist getting them this red convertible bed just cause its kinda cool to see a dog or a cat sitting in a stuffed convertible car. Ok maybe not cool, just random and I'm all about randomness.

End it now.

You know the funny thing about getting a paycheck is that you actually have to pretend to like what you do. Case in point, I have to endure the stupidity of work with all its fuckedupness and non-sensical shit but grin and bear it. Walk into the office like "Ladeefrickingdah, good morning, how are you, can't wait to work" bullshit diggity. Enough already? No I can't throw in the towel because I rely on the damn moneys to support my family. Okay, so what if my family includes 2 dogs?!?! They need to be fed too, just because I choose to starve myself doesn't mean I should starve them. I'm off on a tangent again, I forgot what I was writing about.
Maybe it's time for some special coffee...

If i could leave, I totally would.

I heard on the radio today about a study that says that Happy Married Women sleep better than Single Women. WELL LADEEFUCKING DAH! Good for happily married women! I hate freaking studies, thanks for pointing out the fucking obvious. Yes people who are generally happy will sleep better than those that are miserable. Just because you add in the married versus single aspect of it doesn't make the study anymore evidence or proof as a scientific finding! Fucking studies.

On that note, I don't sleep good, yes Im single. I don't sleep good because I have ultrasonic hearing and can hear when my upstairs neighbours are fucking like god damn rabbits and their hyena love making sounds. I can hear when my neighbor taking a piss above my head and flushes the toilet. I can even hear when their dog or cat or whatever animal they have is playing with a ball across the hardwood floor. Heck it doesn't help having 2 guarddogs that growl/bark at the slightest noise to warn me of the impending doom of someone walking by the doorway. It also doesnt help that the biggest brat Nilla decides that she wants to wake up every 2 hours to quack at me so she can get up on the bed. So i let her up on the bed and what does she do? She decides it's fun day and starts jumping around me and Choco like we're part of a fucking trampoline. Damn dogs, always trying to bring a sista down.

YES im grumpy. Fuck. On that note, enjoy this picture because I wish this were me.